Posted by cathy (63.254.86.93) on September 09, 2001 at 15:04:48:
I have few regrets in this life. Every wrong decision I've made (since it didn't kill me) has made me stronger. Cigarettes are the exception. They may very well kill me. I started in 1959 at age 14. Now it's been 42 years of pretty much non-stop smoking. My chest hurts when I exercise...even a lazy lap across a swimming pool causes me discomfort. Wrinkles that from around my mouth when I suck on a cigarette no longer disappear.I have permeated my body with so much nicotine and whatever else the tobacco companies have laced in the cigaretts that I think my internal organs must all be black with tar. I have driven through snow storms and spent my last dollar for a pack of smokes. I am a bad example for my 3 daughters and my 4 grandchildren. The control I have given this habit over my life is appalling. I would do almost anything to go back and not pick up that first cigarette. But, I won't quit. I say I will. I set quit dates. I buy nicorette,hard candies, patches and tranquilizers. My last date was this past June. The 15th. I lasted 5 hours. I think that if I have to die to learn a lesson this time, I hope it's from a quick anuerism and not years of emphysema. I'm not stupid. I'm an addict.